I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
