Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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