So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Randomize
