I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
