The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
