Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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