I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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