you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Let's get the cat blown out
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize