Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize