is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
from now on my penis is your penis
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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