I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
