Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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