Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
