guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
