Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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