you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
