If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
