i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
