i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize