well you can't waste a boner
someone owes me an orgasm
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Randomize
