did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
