She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
It's blow job season.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
