Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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