Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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