Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Life is so much better after having sex.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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