he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
don't judge my taste in strippers
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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