quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.