Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.