problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
