just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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