That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
