I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
