You just made me feel so damn special
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
