So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
How many fucks given?
0.12846
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
