I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
