I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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