i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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