Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
