You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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