I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
