Pregnant stripper...not hot.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
