I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
