I met the friendliest cop last night
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
