are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
