Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Randomize
