Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
