You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
