I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
