Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
