He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
