goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
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