I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
