We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I'm really busy with my period
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