I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
