maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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