i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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