last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
