And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
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I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
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Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
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