xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
