don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I just want to make out with him forever
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Randomize
