I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
